On communication issues and the opportunities they provide in developing genuine friendships.
“Basic communication is the best. I think it’s great struggling to communicate and using basic sentences whilst establishing relationships. It’s interesting because you’re forced to communicate with each other beyond words and trying to understand people in different ways. Plus, willingness to make a positive impact on people when it’s harder to communicate verbally shows stronger willingness to be friends. So who knows, it might be better in the long run.”
I had this conversation with Ben during my first week here on exchange when I noticed that I stood as a minority (as an Australian) within the grand mixture of nationalities, primarily dominated by Americans, Canadians and European study abroad students. I was jokingly making a fuss about losing my Australian accent and developing an American twang by the end of the semester, whilst also seeing my vocabulary deteriorate as I try to dodge the language barriers between me and those whose first language is not English by using broken but basic sentence structures and elaborate hand gestures to express myself.
I’m into my fourth week here now and sometimes it’s still fairly frustrating for both parties when we try to convey exactly what we are thinking. But let’s be real – I have it easier than most people since English is the common spoken language (amongst exchange students at least). Therefore, I honestly have no right to be complaining since I nearly never have to translate anything from my mother tongue to another language. I really do sincerely thank every non-native English speaking person who so patiently and willingly tries to communicate their thoughts and feelings to me. You are all so awesome for even trying and I appreciate it so much.
The funny and wild hand gestures, the incorrect direct translations from French to English, the awkward jokes that definitely were funnier before the punch lines were lost in translation, all the embarrassing misinterpretations and everything in between – I’ve really come to love all these cross-cultural interactions. It’s entirely true, as Ben so eloquently put it, that ‘willingness to make a positive impact on people when it’s harder to communicate verbally shows stronger willingness to be friends’. It shows a mutual deeper interest in the other person and his or her background, and the additional patience and effort required during interactions make friendship-building that much more genuine.
I can only guess that almost every exchange student or person who spends time abroad will come to appreciate all these communication troubles unique to overseas travel. It surely is a different experience altogether that I never thought I’d have to tolerate so much, nor would I have guessed that I would enjoy it so much either. In fact, I think I’m getting better at it. I’m becoming less fearful of miscommunication, because there’s nothing that a shy smile or confused laugh can’t excuse.
I spent this afternoon on the outlook area on top of New Asia College with a friend whose native language is French (but speaks more than adequate English). Though I fumbled around with my words to work out easier vocabulary, and translation effort was required on his part, we chatted endlessly until twilight. It was so lovely, and I wouldn’t ever trade a special, one in a million bonding moment like this for anything. I hope everyone will get the chance to experience this at least once in their lifetime, because it truly is something wonderful.
Reflection over, Marina out.
x
Ready, steady, fly! 